A memory from a year ago today…

sea-sunset-empty-bank_HDpreview-thumbI have the “Timehop” App installed on my mobile phone and a post I wrote on Facebook a year ago today popped up this morning. Whilst I have anonymised, I wanted to share it with you all and to tell the parents out there that are fighting for their children…don’t ever give up. Keep fighting, keep putting one foot in front of the other, you are not alone.

 

Have just had a really beautiful moment I wanted to share with you all.
I live 10 minutes walk from the beach and the night my newborn baby was taken away from me I walked down there with my eldest child at 4am, me sobbing the whole way. Having just given birth a few days earlier, I had to stop many times to rest and eventually we got to the seafront and found a bench looking out to sea. That bench became a focal point for me and many days and nights were spent on there, looking out across the water and often watching the sun rise. I would tend to go out through the night because through the day I risked there being babies and small children about and I couldn’t bear it. Sometimes I needed to ring a friend to come and get me because the grief was so painfully raw. But I was always drawn back to that bench.

Nine months on and with it being such a lovely night, I put my baby in the sling and went for a toddle before bed. We ended up on the seafront and at the bench. My little one had fallen asleep, the sun was that glorious orange before it sets, it was quiet, peaceful, the waves were lapping at the rocks – I sat on ‘the bench’, my baby cuddled into me, their head on my chest…it was everything I fought for. Everything.

Just wanted to share that xxx

5 thoughts on “A memory from a year ago today…

  1. Heart rending. Yet so beautiful. Cannot imagine the pain you went through. To be honest I try not to think how you felt as it would bring me to tears…. yet again. But then tears of happiness and relief for you, that you fought… won!.. and now have your baby. This just shows there can be light at the end of the tunnel. Xxx

    1. Thank you so much Kerry, you are absolutely right – there IS light at the end of the tunnel, there IS hope. Your support is, as always invaluable to me, thank you xxx

  2. Hi,
    i dont know if the SS launched court proceedings against you to try and place your baby for adoption but did you ever have the problem of the SS putting false information in their reports and using other dirty tricks to make you look like a bad parent ?

    1. Hi, the local authority did indeed try to place my baby for adoption, but I was successful in having my child returned to my care. You can read my storyhere:

      In terms of the local authority putting false information in reports, I think rather than “false information” some of their information was sometimes based upon long held beliefs about me by senior social workers, rather than taking into account my capacity to change. And I think that that is often the case; someone once said to me that local authorities are like ocean liners, very difficult to turn around. However, I have been in court and witnessed a social worker telling a lie, and I have seen things written about me that had no evidence to back it up. If you are experiencing this, I would advise you to challenge it. The best way to do that is by letter to their social worker’s manager. I would also always advise you to act in a balanced way, and try to see things from their point of view.
      In terms of “dirty tricks”, I will simply say this; the system is adversarial, it is set up so that we fight each other during proceedings. And some people fight fairly and cleanly and in a balanced way. And some people don’t.
      What you have to remember is that the local authorities job is to give the court evidence that the child/ren are at risk if they live with their parents. Some people will do that fairly, and the guidelines are that any assessments should contain a balance of strengths and weaknesses. Some people aren’t quite as fair and will “over-egg the pudding”. This is where having a good, strong legal team comes into play – it is their job to disprove this evidence, or at the very least call the local authority out when they haven’t played fair.
      I hope that helps.

  3. my niece has in the main just emerged from a 2 year battle with theSS after a minor burn to her youngest child.
    At the outset theSS stated their intention to have her 4 children put up for adoption.
    The SS wanted to prove that the burn was caused deliberately ,by stubbing out a cigarette and employed one of the nations foremost paediatricians who specialized in child abuse.The expert concluded that there was no way that the burn was deliberate(after extensive experiments).The SS then tried to discredit this expert who was recruited by them.
    The SS spent thousands of pounds having my nieces hair analysed hoping to prove that she was a drug addict;this ploy failed as the only chemicals found were from prescribed medecines.
    Nevertheless they persuaded the crown prosecuters to go to the crown court.After postponements,over several months the case reached court ,theSS having released their files only 3 days before the hearing.The judge threw out the case and lambasted the SS and cps for wasting time .
    This is just an outline of what went The SS had removed the children from their mother and for over a year she was allowed to see them twice a week at a centre chosen to be two bus rides from home.She never missed a visit ,doubtless to the dismay of the SS
    There were very many attempts by the SS to trick her and make her a liar
    The total costs must have been close to £ 1million.
    After all this the SS still want to have the family supervised for 5 years.They will not accept that they have been wrong,maybe fearful of the sack and bad publicity.
    Do these authorities pick on families who have very “adoptable” children and ignore the ones living in abusive and squalid homes?

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